got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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