You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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