That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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