Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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