Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
