i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
