Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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