Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
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