its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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