You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
