He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
