I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
