What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
