Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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