Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
