Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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