yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
