her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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