I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
