he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
