I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
