Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
