i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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