North Korea, Best Korea!
time to smoke my breakfast
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
