So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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