i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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