video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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