i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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