That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
