Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
