The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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