I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
