next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
