so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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