Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
