So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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