It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
