Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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