She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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