Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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