Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
