careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
