Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize