i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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