McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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