my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
