Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
