All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
