butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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