In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
