Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
