it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
