You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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