I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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