I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
