If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
