she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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