I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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