in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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