fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
