Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
